Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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