new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
