Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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