New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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