Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
