So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
