I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
