My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
