One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
They are going to name an STD after you.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
