Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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