and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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