I cannot find my penis.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
