I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize