He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
