so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
