i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
