So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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