therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
