wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
