He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
