I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
