He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
