ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
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