I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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