Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
