...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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