Ambien. No doubt about it.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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