Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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