my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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