He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
