Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize