Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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