woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I understand Curling. That high.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize