I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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