i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
