I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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