ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
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