i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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