yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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