is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Fuck appropriateness.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
