So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
