that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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