is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
