It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize