You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize