we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
