i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
