Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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Good news! Blood’s flowing!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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