Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Randomize
