I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
