They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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