I accidentally had phone sex last night
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize