There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize