This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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