Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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