508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
