I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
