That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I need to calm my uterus...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize