God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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