It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
A bitchslap is in order.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
