i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
