So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
